After a divorce, people can worry about the income they were used to during the marriage. This can be a difficult situation for an individual. The offset income the spouse may get after a divorce is called alimony. It is determined by alimony guidelines and spousal support law. Given below are top 5 legal questions related to alimony.

Q. If an individual is on social security disability, how can alimony be calculated?

The courts may decide whether to award spousal support to an individual or not. The court may also decide the amount that may be given as spousal support. The alimony may be determined keeping in mind factors such as, financial recourses, time needed for training for employment or education, the couple’s standard of living when they were married, age and health of the spouse asking for support. One spouse can collect on the other spouse’s record, if the couple is divorcing after 10 years of marriage or more.

Q. Is it possible for the court to take money from a business account if an individual is unable to pay the alimony ordered by court or pays less than what has been ordered?

If an individual is not able to pay the spousal support ordered by the court, he/she can petition the court to reduce the amount of alimony or relieve him/her from paying the alimony. The court may not be able to take the money from the corporate assets of an individual if they are not attached to any personal assets. However, the court may be able to take money from the stock of the corporation depending on the value of the stock.

Q. Is there a formula to calculate alimony for self employed businesses?

There may not be a particular formula to calculate alimony for self employed businesses. Though there are guidelines to follow, it is up to the judges to decide the amount of spousal support. The court may consider the past tax returns before awarding alimony. However one may have to retain a local attorney to get the best possible representation in court.

Q. Is Texas the only state with 3 years as the maximum limit for spousal support?

Though Texas is the only state with a strict limit on spousal support, it can be waived if the spouse is mentally or physically disabled. In many states instead of awarding permanent spousal support, rehabilitative spousal support is awarded. However in some states, permanent alimony may be awarded if the couple has been married for a long term.

Q. In NY state, if a couple has been married for more than 7 years, but has no children or mortgage, can the wife still get alimony if she is a student and is not able to work?

Whether an individual gets alimony or not would not be based on whether the couple had children. The wife may get alimony irrespective of whether the couple has children or not. The alimony may depend on the number of years the couple has been married.

Do you remember how you felt when you were happy? Is that feeling so far away in the past that you really can’t remember it?

I can totally relate to that. I struggled to remember a time when I was truly happy when I was going through divorce and in the couple of years afterwards.

But I was happy at one time, and I am sure you were too.

Now it is time to get your life back and be the you that you know you are and want to be again. So let’s get back to the magical you.

How do you want to look? What would you be wearing? How would you stand? What’s your facial expression like?

Picture yourself in your mind standing in front of a long mirror so you can see the whole length of you. What do you want to look like, wear, stand? Are you smiling? Create the you that you want to be.

What do you need to let go of? How do you need to move on? What is holding you back?

What stuff do you need to let go of now that is of no use to you. What do you need to do now for you to move on with your life. What is it that is holding you back from what you want to do and how you want to be?

If you had all the money and time in the world, describe your ideal relationship, your ideal career, your ideal house.

Let your imagination run wild. What is it that you are aiming for now that you are free?

What behaviours do you need to change in order to live for today? Slow down, stop worrying and build time into your day to enjoy your life.

There are certain to be some behaviours that need to be changed in order for you to move on with your life that you are totally responsible for yourself. Really be honest with yourself here. Then changes those behaviours that you have identified.

Slow down not just by stopping rushing around, but slow your mind down too. Stop worrying about things that might happen, you are just attracting problems to you. Take the time each day to just sit with yourself, have a cup of coffee and enjoy your own company. Build this time into your day, block it out in your diary. Make time for you.

When you do all these things for yourself, you will get your life back and you will enjoy it more and because you are enjoying it more, you will attract happy people to you, because they will see how happy and content you are.

On the outside you are looking great, but inside you are falling to pieces. The cracks are really beginning to show. There is no need to suffer in silence, you are not alone. I understand what you are going through. Reach out your hand, grab hold – I’ve got you. I will help you to transition the bold front you are putting on – the perfect appearance on the outside – and the inner turmoil where you are tearing yourself apart.

“I want her back but how do I get her back after the breakup?” This is probably what’s going on in your mind when you realized that you still love your ex girlfriend.

It’s true that breakups are hard and if you keep telling yourself “I want her back,” then you need to show her that you’ve changed. Or at least, you’ve changed your bad habits and improved yourself just for her.

How do you prove to her that you’ve changed and made improvements?

1. Try changing your attitude towards her

Instead of treating her as someone you just need to get back, it’s better if you treat her as someone who wants to be loved and feel special. What can you offer her that no other man can? Since you know your ex, it will give you an advantage over the other men. You already know the things she likes and doesn’t like so use this knowledge to your advantage.

2. Prove to yourself that you’ve changed

You have to convince yourself that you have changed before you can prove it to her. If you are uncertain or not sincere about making self improvements then she will see right through you. In other words, you need to take time to develop the new and improved you. Take time to heal then find out what triggers negative reactions such as anger, lying, jealousy, etc.

3. Don’t rush the changes

Making self-improvements doesn’t happen overnight. You can’t just let a day go by then try to convince her that you’ve changed for the better. It’s going to take a lot more than that to convince her. Be patient and give yourself time to make the improvements you need to do.

4. Actions speak louder than words

It’s essential that your actions match up with the things you say you will do. If you’re trying to not be controlling, then don’t go telling your ex that she’s not allowed to see that man. If she’s in a rebound relationship because she finds it hard to get over you, then let her be for now. She needs to see your efforts in order to come back to you and you won’t succeed if you keep coming back to your old habits.

5. Create agreements with your ex

It’s not easy hearing your bad habits from someone else but it has to be done if you want to make improvements. You need to be honest with yourself and accept your mistakes. Let her know that you’re taking her complaints seriously and don’t snap at her when she’s telling you what you’re doing wrong.

6. Let her notice it

Rather than constantly telling her that you’ve changed, it’s best if she notices it. Seeing subtle changes like being less controlling, being able to control your temper more, and even improvements in your communication skills are a plus. She will see these as genuine efforts and she’ll be happy for you.

If you’re telling yourself “I want her back,” then be sure that you are prepared to make the necessary changes. You don’t have to change who you are completely. She fell in love with you which means that she loves your good qualities. It’s the bad habits you need to get rid of so work on it.

Have you been feeling an intense feeling of worry about something since the day your boyfriend broke up with you? Do you think it’s because you are still in love with him despite the horrible argument that you had at the time of the breakup? Is texting your ex boyfriend back currently on your mind? Are you worried that he will find somebody new before you get the chance to try your luck at texting your ex boyfriend back?

Stop and breathe for a moment. Right now, all you really have to do is know that texting your ex boyfriend back is completely possible. You simply need to take several things into consideration before making your first move. For starters, you should consider that it takes two to tango, so you both probably said some nasty things during your argument that may have brought about some resentment between you.

If this is the case, then you should avoid texting your ex for now since the situation is still fresh and fragile. If you text him too soon, you might just argue all over again and lose your chances of getting him back altogether.

Ideally, you should spend some time away from your ex, so that you can both get over your bad feelings for one another. Once those bad feelings are gone, you can figure out how you really feel about each other. And, if you realize that you are still in love, then you can start texting your ex to try and fix your problems.

Before that happens, though, focus on doing things to keep yourself happy, so that you can eliminate all of the anger and pain associated to the breakup. Once you have done this, you can do everything in your power to text your ex back.

Another thing that you will have to do before that happens is ensure that your ex boyfriend isn’t dating anybody new yet. Don’t ask him upfront about this, though. Instead, ask your mutual friends what his current dating situation is like. They are sure to know whether he is still on the market or not. Once you are 100% sure that he is still single, then take your chance to text him back right away.

To begin texting your ex boyfriend back, just send a simple text to see if he will reply. If he does, then call him up and you will be much closer to getting him back than you think.

What do moving, divorce, spring, and company all have in common? They’re all great reasons to take stock and let go of things you don’t need any more.

I recently moved my files off of an old computer to a new one. I found emails in my inbox that were more than 10 years old! Some of these emails even had details about the negotiations my ex and I went though to settle our divorce. Not really anything I need anymore right? Well, I did it. I let of of those things that I just didn’t need any more. And you know what? It felt good! It felt REALLY good to let that stuff go.

I had to ask myself though, why had I held on to these emails for so long? (Part of the reason I had held on to them for so long was just that I had forgotten they were there. Ten years is kinda a long time.)

Why does anyone hold on to reminders of a painful time or experience? I believe the answer is that we’re afraid of letting go. That if we let go, then it will be as if we’ve lost part of our life or even wasted it. I promise that’s not the case. Being willing to let go of things that remind you of the past and are painful is an important part of allowing yourself the room or permission to remember the good and move on with your life.

Our reluctance to let go of things, thoughts, and ideas that keep us tied to our former spouse and marriage can take many disguises.

Sometimes we hold on to things from our marriage or that remind us of our ex because we tell ourselves it’s about sentimentality. That’s a great reason to keep things that bring us joy or happiness, but if what you’re holding on to brings you sadness or pain, you might want to consider letting it go.

Other times we hold on to things, thoughts, and ideas because we don’t know what to do with them yet. That’s OK. For the physical things you don’t know what to do with yet, move them to someplace where you don’t need to look at them every day. For the thoughts and ideas you don’t know what to do with, you might consider talking about them with a friend, counselor, clergy person, or coach. Sometimes all you need is a safe sounding board to organize your thoughts in a way that you can then let them go.

We also hold on to things because we don’t want them to get wasted. We might even think that we will have a use for them in the future. The same goes for thoughts and ideas. We worry that if we don’t remember them that we might forget and then when we really need them, they won’t be there. the thing to remember is that there is a cost to saving something whether it’s a physical object, a thought or idea. The cost could be monetary, emotional, physical, or a combination of these. When we’re holding on to something because we don’t want to waste it, it’s important to consider the waste of our other resources (monetary, emotional, and physical) to keep it. It just might cost more to keep it than to let it go.

Your Functional Divorce Assignment:

What are you holding on to that you might be ready to let go? Consider the things, thoughts, and ideas that you’re holding on to. The ones that bring you the most pain might just be the ones that you consider letting go of.

What might be the consequences of letting them go? Thinking about the repercussions of letting these things go, you’ll discover both positive and negative possibilities. Get them all out so you can really see what the cost of letting them go might be. Sometimes the consequences of letting them go are really wonderfully positive and you just might be able to let some stuff go right now!

In 30 minutes or less, you can QUICKLY and EASILY pinpoint EXACTLY what you need to do to COMPLETELY get over your divorce… GUARANTEED! http://www.functionaldivorce.com/fdasproduct.html

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

Please do! However, this material is copyright. Just include the following information with the article and we’ll all be happy:

Karen Finn, Ph.D. is the creator of The Functional Divorce Coaching Program. She works with people in all phases of divorce who struggle with moving on and who want to find the direction they need to take their lives so they can be confident and happy again. Visit http://www.functionaldivorce.com to learn more about Karen’s work and to register to receive her newsletter. Karen Finn, Ph.D. owns the copyright to this article and reserves all rights to it.

Every relationship has conflict. You simply can’t put two human beings together for an extended period of time, let alone several years, and never have any conflict develop. Unfortunately, many couples simply don’t know how to handle conflict and resolve it effectively when it does occur. Without those skills, your relationship is going to continue being a struggle for both of you.

Unresolved conflict is like a cut on your finger that becomes infected. Even if it starts out very small, it can quickly become very painful and cause a lot of distress. Cleaning out the wound may be painful initially, but it is necessary if the wound is ever going to heal.

Unresolved conflict is very destructive and may ultimately destroy your relationship. But if you learn to make a few changes in your approach, you will resolve conflict in your relationship much more quickly and smoothly.

Keep in mind that if you are fighting, you must fight fair. Fighting dirty is akin to sucker punching your partner. It’s going to make him angry and he may retaliate (or withdraw) in response. If it’s difficult for the two of you to talk without it escalating to a fight, set some ground rules to which you both must agree. Then stick to them! It won’t be easy, but it will make a world of difference in your relationship!

Here are some guidelines to help you (some have been mentioned previously, but they are worth repeating):

• Stay calm. ALWAYS. This is not going to be easy but is one of the most important things you can do when trying to resolve a conflict that is plaguing your relationship. When your partner is hurtful or angry, if you stay calm, you may disarm him and he will be more likely to retreat. It will also help keep your conversation from escalating (because it takes two for that to happen!).

• Really listen to what your partner is saying, as well as what he is communicating non-verbally as well. If he is particularly angry, chances are he just really wants you to hear him. If you haven’t done that in the past, now is the time to start. Let him finish before you respond.

Truly listening is a way of showing both courtesy and respect. You may have been impatient to respond or defensive and reactive – waiting to jump in edgewise rather than really paying attention.

• Never interrupt or attempt to talk over your partner. I know I’ve said this before a couple of times, but I can’t stress it enough. This is a great way to infuriate him, as it is very disrespectful and clearly conveys the message you think your words are more important than his. Also, it is very rude behavior.

• Don’t dredge up past hurts or wrongs. Leave the past in the past. Bringing it up again is never productive and will only widen the rift between you. It also gives the impression that you are keeping score. And it will almost inevitably put your partner on the defensive.

• Work out your conflicts in private. When you confront your partner or try to discuss relationship matters, doing it when others are around will not only be very uncomfortable, it may make your partner feel like you’ve set him up. Give both your partner and others the courtesy of keeping these matters between the two of you.

• Don’t engage in childish fighting. Name calling, bullying, or pulling in friends to take your side, for example, are behaviors that at best belong on a grade school playground, not in an adult relationship.

• Take ownership of your role in the conflict. Blaming everything on your partner will get you nowhere (except perhaps alone).

• Don’t take the stance that your partner is wrong and you are right. Being right is highly overrated, and the need to always be right will make you a very undesirable relationship partner. Strive for understanding, mutual resolution, and kindness instead.

• Always try to find the grain of truth (even if seems very tiny) in anything your partner says. He most likely is not totally to blame, and therefore probably has some valid points. Listen for them and acknowledge your agreement.

• Don’t use extreme words such as “always” or “never” to describe any of your partner’s behaviors. Not only are these highly unlikely to be true, they will tap into your partner’s desire to stop opening up.

It takes two to tango and you both need to take ownership of your part in the conflict.

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you may want to discuss these guidelines with your partner and ask him if he agrees that they are reasonable. If he does, ask him if he will commit to following them whenever you have a potentially heated conversation.

How do you tell if your partner is cheating on you? There are many options that can help you to spy on your husband or wife who is unfaithful. Before you start spying on your spouse personally or hiring the services of a private investigator, try to look out for the signs mentioned below.

1.) Changes in Your Partner’s Appearance

Cheating partners usually want to impress the person they are having an inappropriate relation with. When your partner is cheating on you, he/she often changes his/her physical appearance. Your spouse might be having an affair if he or she starts paying attention to his or her weight, buying new clothes and doing things that makes him/her to appear attractive.

2.) Lack of Communication or Distance

Before you realized the problem, how often did you communicate with your spouse? If recently your spouse has stopped talking to you or distanced himself/herself from you, there are high chances that he/she is cheating on you. Your spouse could be avoiding you because he/she is either afraid of accidentally talking about the affair or he/she already has someone whom he/she discusses issues with.

3.) Working Late

Depending on your spouse’s career, he/she may have to work late. Thus you should lookout for any changes and then make a judgment later on. Has he/she started working late all of a sudden? When making the judgment know that some careers such as lawyers and doctors might call for late nights.

4.) Spends Too Much Time with Friends

Spending time with friends is not always a sign of a cheating spouse but it can. In fact, a nice relationship with outside friends plays a crucial role in building a healthy relationship. Thus make your judgment carefully.

5.) Suddenly You Don’t Know Where He or She Is

When you get married, there is no reason as to why you should not know where your spouse is especially at night or after a long period of time. If your spouse doesn’t tell you, there is a possibility that he or she is cheating on you. When your spouse arrives late, it is better if you get a good reason that will justify why he/she is late.

6.) Rumors

Many spouses especially men are not careful when cheating. They may tell somebody or they may be seen on a date. Therefore you have to listen to what people are telling you about your spouse cheating on you.

7.) You Are Accused of Cheating

If your spouse accuses you of cheating without a reason, then he/she might be doing that to feel less guilty.

8.) “We are Just Friends”

This phrase is a good sign of your partner cheating on you.

9). A Bad Feeling

You should not dismiss bad feelings. If you don’t want to end up in a relationship with a cheating spouse, you must follow your heart.

10.) No Sex

Is your relationship becoming sex-free? If that is the case, your partner could be cheating on you.