You can either be shocked and destroyed by the idea of a spouse who cheats or has an affair or try putting it in perspective. We tend to be more shocked by cheating in our culture and a little more tolerant about it in others.Nevertheless, here are some Myths and Facts about the subject of affairs, cheating and marriage.
Myth: An Affair/Infidelity destroys a marriage.
Fact: Although that may be true for some, many marriages survive affairs. Most marriages, where both partners are committed to the marriage and to changing the dynamics that may have supported the affair, emerge stronger from the infidelity crisis.
Myth: Affairs happen because of sexual attraction.
Fact: There are many different types of affairs and reasons for having them. Although sexual attraction can be a reason for an affair, it is often the emotional needs of the unfaithful partner that causes the affair to begin.
Myth: Affairs happen when people get older and become used to each other.
Fact: There has been a steady increase in affairs happening with partners under the age of 30! It is thought that younger people have likely developed the habit of having multiple partners before marriage, a habit that is hard to break.
Myth: There are always signs of infidelity, but the hurt partner chooses to avoid them.
Fact: Although this may be true in some cases, most infidelities remain an undiscovered secret. Of course, hindsight being 20/20, once the affair is discovered certain clues then become apparent that were not so visible before.
Myth: Divorcing the adulterer or leaving the unfaithful partner is the best way to get the affair behind you.
Fact: Surveys have indicated that almost 8 out of 10 partners who divorced because of an affair regret the decision. This fact coincides somewhat with many surveys of divorced couples in general. Divorce is no picnic! It is a painful and often highly regrettable decision.
Myth: Affairs only happen in unhappy or troubled marriages.
Fact: Infidelity happens in good marriages as well. The numbers show that infidelity or having an affair is an equal opportunity phenomenon.
Myth: The unfaithful partner is less interested in sex at home.
Fact: Contrary to conventional wisdom, many unfaithful partners become even more stimulated and interested in having sex with their spouse while having an affair. In fact, sometimes an affair serves as a sexual jump start to a low sex relationship.
Myth: Men have the affairs.
Fact: Although this may seem logical, given that men are and have been in more powerful positions than women, in the world of infidelity women are catching up! It is now thought that women statistically represent about 40% of all infidelities.