Anyone who has ever gone through a divorce will tell you they have many regrets about the ending of their relationship. Going into marriage is such a new adventure with so many challenges; there are bound to be stressful times that come up. If you listen to advice from a divorced person telling you how to deal with those difficult times, it will help make your marriage stronger and aid in keeping you from becoming part of the divorce statistics.
Regret No. 1: Not expressing yourself. Your partner knows you love them… or else you would not have decided to get married, right? But just because the wedding ceremony is over, it doesn’t mean your need to express your love for your partner should end too. Your partner really needs to see and hear about your love for them. They know the love is there, but they still need to see examples of it in their everyday life, not just on anniversaries, holidays, birthday, etc.
Regret No. 2: Not forgetting the past. The past is behind you for a reason. Since you can never go back and change it, why would you want to dwell on something you have absolutely no control over? Unless you fell in love as children and grew up together, we all have a history before we met our spouse. Digging into your past (that naturally does not include them), isn’t fair for you to have to answer to… and it isn’t fair for them to ask you to do that.
Regret No. 3: Fighting over money. Money fights are the number one cause for divorce. Each partner in an intimate relationship can have different views on money and still stay married. It’s called communication. It’s called compromise. When a husband comes home from work excitedly driving a new motor home and the couple is financially struggling, then this is a sign they are not communicating very well about their finances. Don’t argue about money: talk about it!
Regret No. 4: Not listening. Hearing your spouse and listening to what it is they are actually saying, are two different things. We can hear them and still tune them out. But listening requires us to process the conversation and decide whether we are going to apply it to our relationship or ignore it’s importance. Why is ignoring it so bad? Because, each time we make this choice, we are either strengthening or weakening our relationship.
This is a particularly important choice… because there will come a time when making the wrong decision could mean the end of your marriage.
Are destructive emotions at the heart of any problems you are experiencing with your relationship? If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself. What are your beliefs?
For nearly 25 years Beverleigh Piepers has searched for and found the principles to help you get to the root causes of your crisis.
The solution is not in the endless volumes of information you find across the internet, or the advice your friends give… it’s in yourself; the thoughts that make you who you are.